The Atom Bomb Of Your Departure

it hit me--
disintegrated in the shock wave
a pulse tearing faster than meatbeats,

tore apart all i knew,
your cats,
your use,
your farm that i built,
everything i did and wrote;

it cast me in a space with white walls
denied by existing;
the radiation--a river
of chemicals for us both.

i spin and spit blood--
your failed apocalypse will always exude--
a tooth, dust i am.
i let it go and it takes me.

here in the water i wait,
wait for you,
blank and angled
like something new,
or a blade you never see,
but it's really just
everything you've ever forgotten.